I write this as someone who has struggled with passive-aggression myself, so go ahead and call some of this psychological projection. But this is all the more reason why I’m impressed by journalist Taylor Lorenz’s master class in passive-aggressive evasion in this conversation she had with the streamer Destiny (whose real name is Steven Bonnell):
To be clear, I don’t know all that much about Lorenz. This isn’t a hit piece. I’m not making any strong claims about the value of her journalism. But I will say that what I have seen from her has not been encouraging (hey, is that a little passive-aggressive?). There seem to be documented cases of her being blatantly dishonest—such as unblocking someone she in fact blocked, screenshotting it, and then posting that screenshot as “evidence” that she didn’t block them. On a recent Blocked and Reported, they talk about that and other similar examples.
Anyway, like I said: I stand in awe. She is really good! If I were taking classes in passive-aggression, I would want them to be taught by Lorenz. Move over Ezra Klein, there’s a new queen in town.
The debate she has with Destiny in the video is over an article she wrote for Wired, which claims that online lefty influencers are taking undisclosed money to amplify progressive messaging from a group called Chorus. But as you can see in the video, she won’t release the contracts she consulted and claims it’s on the influencers to disprove her claims in the article (a version of the misplaced burden of proof fallacy). That’s just a bit of context. My point isn’t to dissect whether she’s right or wrong but, again, to highlight the passive-aggression. So here is a list of examples from the video, categorized by type.
Category 1: You’re confused
Yeah, no, I think you’re confused.
Steven I think you’re very confused. And I encourage you to read Ana’s work and maybe you can have Ana on your stream to talk about this.
You might be confused by their filings.
Steven, I think you’re very confused.
What we can’t confirm, Steven, and this may be what you’re getting stuck up on and confused on…
Top down is not the right phrase, let me rephrase it so you’re not confused.
Category 2: This is Unproductive
Steven, again, this is just completely unproductive.
One thing we could move on to that would be more productive…
I’m not pivoting, I’m answering your question. This is very unproductive ultimately.
Category 3: Let me Help You Understand
Well that’s why I’m here, helping you understand it.
I encourage you to talk to Ana… and she can explain all the nuances that can maybe help you understand.
Category 4: Passive-Aggressive Gaslighting
I think the burden of proof is on the content creators and they haven’t been able to refute our reporting… but yeah I’m all for transparency.
I would encourage people to actually read the story.
We deal in facts [after having been challenged on her interpretation of the facts].
I personally don’t interpret it that way, but if you wanna interpret it that way, you’re welcome to interpret it that way.
We don’t make that claim in the story, and I’m sorry if the word funnel sort of implied that to you.
Category 5: Passive-Aggressive Ad Hominem
Oh no no no no no no no, Steven, please. I know you haven’t freelanced that much, but…
They have been unable to refute the facts of our story. And I understand, it’s frustrating for them.
Before you interrupt and freak out…
Can you say more about why you think Ezra Klein is passive aggressive? I'm curious!